Learning to Let Things Out Sooner
A weekend of early mornings, a concert alone, and finally asking for help when I needed it.
Last week, while my husband was in New Zealand visiting family, I went to see my favourite artist, Matthew Good. ALL BY MYSELF! Usually, he’d be right there beside me, but with him out of town, it was either miss the show or go alone. I decided to be brave. I would see my favourite artist. All by myself for the first time ever!
I’d been nervous for months, but I didn’t want a lack of company to stop me from doing something I love.
Then I realized the concert landed on the same weekend as my daughter’s three-day swim meet, which meant early mornings, long drives, and zero energy left for anything.
By Sunday afternoon, I knew I needed a nap if I had any hope of making it through the show. But when I woke up from the nap, I felt awful. That heavy, foggy, “my body is done with me” kind of feeling. I tried eating. I tried walking the dog. Nothing worked.
Finally, I cracked and called my husband in NZ in tears. I didn’t feel good, but I didn’t want to miss the show either.
He listened, the amazing man that he is, and just talking to him settled me. I realized how much I lean on him on an everyday basis when my thoughts and emotions start to spiral. He’s the calm in our house. When I ruminate, when he is home I just say it out loud, and it releases enough pressure for my brain to reset.
But with him on the other side of the world, all those thoughts just… stacked up. I was holding it all in each day until I could text or call him, which wasn’t until 2 pm my time. After that call, I finally saw the pattern. I also realized I had other people in my life that could help when he wasn’t available.
Still tired, but feeling better, I went to the concert.
I had a great time. I even made concert friends.
I was proud of myself for being there, tired and all, because it would have been sad to missout on this fun. Also look how close to the stage I was!!! It was amazing!
But the real win wasn’t pushing myself; it was listening to my mind and body when it told me it had had enough. The next morning, when I woke up feeling hungover despite drinking nothing but sparkling water, I texted my trainer and skipped my workout. I rarely do that. But my brain, my body, and, honestly, my mental health were all waving the white flag.
It’s a good thing I did, because while I was eating breakfast, my sweet dog started farting non-stop. Seriously if it wasn’t so stinky, it would have been funny. Ok let’s be real. I totally laughed at her. But then noticed she didn’t want to eat breakfast and when I went upstairs to change for our walk I found she had pooped in my bedroom!
Now I was starting to worry. What was wrong with her?! Was I going to need to take her to the vet?
I had learned my lesson, I didn’t hold it in until 2pm to tell my husband and let my worry build up. I group chatted my mom, dad, and sister instead. After they were finished laughing at the stinky dog they were very supportive 😃. But just getting the worry out of my head made all the difference.
We went for a walk, she did her business, and — surprise — there was rope in her poop. Mystery solved. Apparently, that’s all she needed to feel better, because she ate her breakfast when we got home.
And you know what? I felt better, too! When my husband was awake at 2pm I relayed the whole story. Now it was funny, and not worrying.
It’s a week later, and my husband is finally home. My daughter and I are thrilled. It’s so nice having everyone under the same roof again. We’ve already had many lovely chats and are starting to get back into our normal routines.
And here’s the funny thing: I thought this post would be about going to the concert alone. That that would be the big, brave win. But as I was writing it all out, everything else came spilling onto the page. What I really learned was this:
Sometimes self-care isn’t brave or dramatic. Sometimes it’s just letting the feelings out sooner, before they take over your whole head.
If this brings something to mind, a moment, a habit, or a realization, then please share it in the comments. These conversations help more than we think.
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I hope your dog is feeling better and your hubby sounds like a great guy!! Glad you have good people in your life and I’m proud of you for doing the concert alone!!
If you can have dinner or enjoy something by yourself, you can do anything.